great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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