Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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