I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
