We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
