I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
