If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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