I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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