it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
