so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
