His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
