There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
