my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
