I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
