so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Come see our sink grown plant.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
