I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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