i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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