just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
