I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i was born a porn star she said
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
