is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
