Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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