community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
