Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
