They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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