I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
