And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
