I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Boobs speak an international language.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
