im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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