or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
