I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
