My nipple is on Facebook.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
