I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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