just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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