And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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