Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
