pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
