so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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