Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
