I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
