You work out of a Hotel?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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