Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
