Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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