I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
