You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My vagina is very pro this idea
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
