mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
