Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
third nipple confirmed
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
