Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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