I think my vagina is haunted
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
