note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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