Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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