i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think I am morally bankrupt
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i think i just lost a toe
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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